peevish mama

So, tonight there’s a kindergarten party for the parents to get to know each other, hosted by a few families. It’ll be nice. You know, scratch out a name tag, grab a glass of wine, mingle and probably end up migrating toward the people I already know. Problem is, I don’t want to go. I just don’t feel like it. But I feel like I should. And this morning, as I contemplate doing something sweaty that’ll ruin the awesome blowout I got after my hair cut yesterday, I am truly of two minds on this. That, in and of itself is hardly interesting – I’m of two minds about lots of things. The thing is, I used to love these yearly gatherings. I used to organize and host these parent cocktail parties. What happened to me? Here are my two minds, going at it:

Mind 1: I don’t feel like getting gussied up.

Mind 2: Bullshit.

Mind 1: Doctor Dash can’t go. I don’t want to go.

Mind 2: Since when has being solo ever bothered you? You hate to miss a party.

Mind 1: I do hate to miss a party. But this isn’t really a party. It’s a school party.

Mind 2: You love school parties. You might meet some nice cool new people.

Mind 1: I know enough nice cool people. I don’t need anymore friends.

Mind 2: You can never know enough nice cool people and your future BEST friends might be hidden in this kindergarten class.

Mind 1: Doubtful.

Mind 2: You’re an ass.

Mind 1: Possibly.

Mind 2: You know what’s happening don’t you? You’re turning into one of those old parents – one of those old mommies who are just too cool for school.

Mind 1: Possibly.

Mind 2: You’re not that cool.

Mind 1: I’m a little cool.

Mind 2: It’s those young mommies, isn’t it.

Mind 1: Yes. They’re so . . . perky.

Mind 2: And clueless.

Mind 1: And wide-eyed.

Mind 2: And clueless.

Mind 1: And enthusiastic.

Mind 2: And clueless.

Mind 1: And young.

Mind 2: Perhaps this is your opportunity to take them under your wing – be their wise elder.

Mind 1: Comforting.

Mind 2: You can’t avoid them forever, you know.

Mind 1: I can certainly try.